As the school year wraps up

Well, I have made it through another semester. And it's officially my last one at CSUS. It's weird that I did really well this semester - given my circumstances. I hope to see A's & B's. All I have to do now is go to two days of classes, study my ass off, take four finals, and I'm finished there forever. Then I will start a new chapter in life - in a new city, and a new school.

I feel bad that I blog about school, but it's what takes up a good majority of my time. You may remember me ranting about not having enough time to do all the things that I want to. Well school is almost out for winter break, so I'll have a little less than a month off before starting again. However there's Christmas and New Years and v0id's birthday. Oh did I mention packing and moving? Yeah...time off isn't really time off if you ask me. There's always something I have to do. There's few moments where I feel I can relax and enjoy the time passing. Those moments are when I'm not alone, I'm with v0id.

A good friend of mine didn't quite understand this. He feels that's it is so easy for him to make time for people, but nobody ever makes time for him. He said that I'm going to marry v0id and spend the rest of my life with him, so what's a few hours? I tried to explain that spending time together is all v0id and I ever want to do. Where ever we are, whatever we're doing, all we want to do is be with each other as much as possible since we enjoy each other's company. I do understand that friends don't want their friends to fall off the face of the earth because their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife is hogging them all to themselves. I guess people have to find a balance, but what am I to do? I guess all I can do is try my best. It may not be good enough for some people, but it's all I can do. As long as I am happy with myself, that's all that matters. (It's funny because those are the words that this friend told me. Huh.)

On another note, v0id and I discovered one of the best teas ever. It's a mixture of White Ayurvedic Chai and Samurai Chai Mate from Teavana. It tastes like a cinnamon stick had an orgasm in your mouth and its juices that it busted all over is liquid heaven. Hahaha I crack myself up. v0id says it's his #1 favorite tea. It's on my top list most definitely, but I do love freshly roasted genmaicha from the Nishiki market in Kyoto, Japan. I would say those are my top 2 favorites. If you have a Teavana near you or don't mind ordering from them online, and like cinnamon, you HAVE to try out this combination.

Games I've been playing lately: Bubble Bobble Plus - Expert Levels.
Games I REALLY WANT to play: New Super Mario Brothers Wii, Animal Crossing City Folk, and still my Myst games.
Games I'd like to play: Finish up my Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass, Wii Fit Plus

There are probably others but I can't think of any right now. I've had a long work day and got clocked in the face. With a hard roll of stickers. Stupid fucking coworker.

Stupid People

This maybe wrong of me to say, but I dislike it when you're sitting in class on the day a paper is due, and the person next to you asks how long yours is. Seriously why does it matter how many pages mine is? Yours is already done, mine is already done, what are you going to do about it?? There's criteria anyway on how long it should be, so why do you feel the need to know how long my paper is? My conclusion is that people want to makes themselves feel better about their paper if theirs is longer than yours.
This combined with the fact that this dude is already annoying in the first place just irritates me.

He tries to talk to me all the time and asks me questions.
"Do you understand what the teacher's talking about?"
I shake my head no, when really I understand completely and I just don't want to point out the fact that you're an idiot.

"How'd you do on the test? I got a D."
Well I got an A, but I really don't want to tell you what I got. However I have to tell you since I can't go around saying that it's classified information.

"Oh you got a new laptop. How is it? Where did you get it? Here? At the school? No? How long have you had it? I'm going to look closer at it to see what it has even though I have no idea what I'm looking at."

Yeah. Shit like that.
Only 3 glorious days of class left, an assload of assignments to complete, and some major studying for finals, and I'm fucking out of there. Do you hear me ***state?!! FUCKING OUT OF THERE!!!
WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!
/rant.

I think I may have lost my mind. (oh and just so you know, I'm procrastinating right now by blogging and not writing my paper) Ha.

Reflections on Growing Up

Well my last post was about the first day of school, and now I'm a little over a third of the way through this semester. I'm doing well in my classes, but I gotta keep it up and that's hard when you work a lot. I give major kudos to people who work more than one job and go to school full time. It's not easy, you basically have to cut off spending time with your family and friends to study. That's the toughest part for me, I would say.
I can go to class and show up for work, but studying takes effort and time, which I don't have a lot of. I've made a little change when school started - I am actively trying to get more sleep since I don't get enough usually. I should be sleeping right now in fact, but hey I've been doing a lot better in getting in my shut eye. I know a lot of people agree with me that there should be more hours in a day, especially when your body needs to sleep for at least 8-10 hours of it.

This is how it looks (ideally) from my perspective: 24 hours to get:
10 hours sleep
1.5 hours to get ready
.5 hours transportation time
8.5 hours at work, which leaves
3.5 hours to eat, spend time with v0id, study, catch up on email, blogs, forums, take care of dogs, sometimes cook, take care of household stuff, go grocery/necessity shopping, etc.

Even if I only got 8 hours of sleep, 5 hours isn't enough to do all of those things. I don't have time for life! I have to use up my main time to sleep, work, & go to school. Gah! I can't even have a hobby like painting/drawing, learning to play the piano, sewing so that I can make my own costumes, learning photography, or learning more about computers & photoshop, play my video games, the list could go on and on about things I want to do.

There's a new hire at my work, and I found out he's 17! Man I feel so old. I never thought I would see the day when I'm 23, and let me tell you I never pictured myself living this way at 23. I'm supposed to still be in the prime of my life, and what I find is that I'm tired. I constantly wish for more time to do the things I want to do. I told that 17 year old that growing up is overrated. It can be fun, but responsibilities are only easy when you have the means to fulfill them.

That reminds me of a guy who posted on reddit who felt like he worked his ass off for 30+ years and never got anywhere. Responses were all over the place of course, but I can't help but feel sorry for the guy. He's got a life where he gets by, but works and works and feels that it's all for nothing. How do we find that life for ourselves? Where we can be happy with what we do for a living, and content with the life we have built for ourselves?

I consider myself a lucky person with the hand that Life dealt me. Sometimes I feel guilty for complaining at all because there's millions of people around the world that have so much less than me and go hungry, etc etc etc. But it's not my fault that I'm here and they're there. As long as I'm not a stupid greedy stuck up bitch who thinks that they deserve everything, then I think I'm ok. I would like to help out in some way, but I just don't think I'm meant for that, who knows.

Well I've made it through another day, and that's all I seem to do. Take life day by day, because in reality there's nothing more I can do.

On a less melancholy note - hooray the rain is coming! Fall is my favorite season and I'm so happy it's here.

First Day of School

Well it's that time of year again, yes it's back to school.
I cracked open my textbook not too long ago, hoping to get a head start on the knowledge that needs to penetrate my brain - and yet here I am. Already procrastinating. On the FIRST day of school.

I blame it on the fact that I hate this school. About 3-4 months ago I was walking off campus to my car, and it happened to be the last day of class. I had taken my last final and everything was done and as I was walking underneath the beautiful giant trees that paint the campus in green and yellow (depending on time of year) I remember smiling because I was thinking that I never had to go back to that school ever again. Ever.

Damn was I wrong. I guess it was just my time in life where I was due for some shit to come my way since I've been having such an easy life lately. Couldn't be happier really.

Back to the procrastinating bit. If you look at it a different way, I actually AM ahead of the game, however. I bet you there is an extremely minute number of people who actually opened their textbook today and read a bit of it (even if it was just a paragraph). It's the first day for crying out loud. Nobody opens their books till about a couple days before the exam and then cries and then regains composure and tries to cram in as much as they can before eventually saying fuck it if I don't know it now, I won't know it by the time for the exam (think I've done this a few times?).

Well at least I got the classes that I need. That's all that matters at this point, well and of course passing them but that's nothing to fret about. So there you have it.

Some highlights of my day:
- My geography teacher is a funny guy. While talking about vegetation he said veggies instead. Also while calling roll he said Tiffany as if he were saying Tiff Annie. The best part was he really didn't do it on purpose Ha!
- He also asked if there were any good first person shooters for facebook
- That same classroom smelled like sweaty socks that had been rolled up into a fat man's ball sack for a week.
- Hooray for the school raising our tuition, giving the teachers pay cuts, and making them take furlough days so we have less days of classes. (Paying more money for less knowledge...not to mention too many students and too little classes)
- There were more but it's been a long day and my brain is already purging what happened

On to more procrastinating!

P.S. Those are pictures of my school

So uhh....feeling lonely?

Yes I know I know, I haven't updated. I'm a terrible person what can I say. Life can be hectic ya know? Good, but hectic. Oh, and stressful too! Damn.

Sometimes (most of the time) I wish I was a kid again so I wouldn't have a schedule and responsibilities and all this adult crap. But I happen to be one of the lucky ones though, I have a loving person to help me get through it all. Which, brings me to another topic. One of the kindest people on earth, who happens to be my very good friend, had a tragic life event - her fiance died. I don't even have the words to say what I feel about that. I just want to say that my heart goes out to her, and I hope she pulls through this. Can you imagine? I sure can't.

It's funny that in one of my classes we actually practiced being empathetic; but I learned a long time ago to always try to put yourself in some one else's shoes to see things from their point of view. Now I never said I do this all the time or that I'm good at it, I'm just saying I know it's very important to not go through life thinking the world revolves around you, and that your actions and words don't affect others.

I like to think that is one thing every person has in common - we all want to feel connected to others in some way, so we try to feel what they feel. And in doing so, we give ourselves a sense of being "normal." Of course this doesn't apply to say...hermits for example.

I'm so ready for this vacation. I read an article last week about how countries differ in the amount of vacation they take. Americans are some of the most overworked people out there. You should check this out for a quick look:http://www.gaebler.com/Productivity-and-Vacation-Comparisons-by-Country.htm

well I had a lot more stuff to write about, but I'm tired, and it's late...or early if you want to look at it another way. At least I'm excited about getting a hair cut tomorrow.
Don't you love my train of thought?

Missing Tiesto...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! I am seriously distraught and angry that I missed Tiesto tonight. I can't believe I let this slip through my fingers! He was here in my city and I didn't get to see him!! I'm shocking myself that I'm so upset over it.

I looked at the rest of his tour destinations and they are all non-U.S. places. He was down the frickin street from me! You know what, he still is down the street from me this very moment because it's 1:34am and his show was supposed to end at 1am.

Damn it.

The next time he's in my area I'm cancelling everything to go see him. Someone try and stop me! :::evil laugh::

Graduation

Well I finally did it. I definitely didn't think that my college experience would be anything like it was....but not in the good way that you are probably thinking. I found college 10% interesting 90% crap. Seriously most of it was just a reiteration of a lot of the things that I learned in high school. I think I'm lucky to have learned so much in high school, versus somebody who learned nothing, and then got to college and found they weren't prepared for it.

So after many years of wading through mucky crap that is a college you don't enjoy going to, I'm finally done. Thank you Jeesuuss I don't ever have to go back there ever again!! I'm honestly excited to go my grad school, it's where I want to go. I hope I find happiness in school, because I generally have a happy life and school was one area that I was not content.

I have high hopes for the future and even though I'm shit scared of it, I know everything's gonna be all right.

Oh Noes!

Ahh I'm slipping already! There I was, posting away thinking I was doing great. Then bam! 6 days later is finally a new post!
Well at least I have an excuse. I've got some stomach bug that I've had for 4 days now and I won't even being to tell you how much it royally sucks ass.

So uhh yeah. Last week of classes. Assignments due, final exams to take next week, work all day tomorrow, fighting off teh sickn3ss, not to mention all the other things that I have to do in daily life and that makes one tired me.

So goodnight. It's gonna be 1am before I get to bed, and I gotta wake up at 7:30. yay me.

Yoga Class

Alright, so this is going to be a little disturbing, so if you're easily grossed out, you should skip this post.

So I went to a yoga class at my gym today, and I've only been to an actual class a few times in my life. I've done yoga at home, but not regularly. I really liked the yoga class and every time I go I wonder why I don't go all the time, or at least more often. Then I remember oh yeah...I'm lazy. This really needs to stop.

So here comes the kinda gross part. The class is pretty packed and we're in close proximity to each other and we go into the pose where you are on your back, knees bent and spread open (like a chick waitin for a guy to put it in). And that's when I smelled it. No really. Some chick had to have been on her rag and it was nasty funky!!! Ewww I was so grossed out. Come on people, I'm a girl too. I have enough common sense to not go out to a yoga class spreading my legs while I'm on my period so people can smell my junk. Seriously I think she didn't use tampons cause that's how bad it smelled.

Hah I love this blog. I can say whatever I want to say and not talk my husband's ear off! Hooray.

Neglected

No I'm not the neglected one here, but my video games are! I love gaming. But you wouldn't have a clue would you? I haven't even touched my Animal Crossing City Folk for...who knows how many months now. When I got it I couldn't put it down. It's not that my love for the game fades or anything, I love it just as much as the day I popped that thing in my Wii's slot. Oh my bad, that was some sexual innuendo there.

What was I saying again? Oh yeah, I don't really know how the dynamics of it all works. I just stop playing one day and I don't pick it up again. I just forget that it's there. I don't even think about it, or realize that I've stopped playing. Very very weird if you ask me.

Oh and Animal Crossing isn't the only game I've neglected. Oh nooo. I've not touched my multitude of Myst games that I just HAD to have, Super Mario Galaxy (which I'm not quite sure we'll ever finish), Elebits, Rayman Raving Rabbids, Legend of Zelda Minish Cap and Phantom hourglass, and not to mention my Wii fit that gets angry at me every time I play because I go weeks or months inbetween playing it. It doesn't like that very much.

Song stuck in my head for 2 days

The sad part of it all is you don't even get to hear to the entire song. It's the equivalent of listening to a preview of a song on repeat in your brain.

Times like these make me wish I had some incite as to why our brains need to have a few clips of a track running over and over and over again. So I turned to google and here's a little bit of what I found:

"Research shows that people most frequently plagued by this phenomenon are those with slightly neurotic tendencies." Honestly, tell me something I don't know about myself. Apparently there's also a thing called "stupid lyrics syndrome" where combining a tune and lyrics ups the chance of song snippets staying with the listener for hours.

They also said, "Women were more likely than men to report feeling annoyed, frustrated, or irritated about having songs stuck in their heads," which in my case, is not true. If a song is stuck in my head I am unable to keep it to myself; I have to sing it out loud over and over again, making my husband equally irritated, if not more.

I also found some more interesting stuff...and to my amazement I actually know what the hell they're talking about because of something I learned in college. Wow.
"Earworm is a term for a portion of a song or other musical material that repeats compulsively within one's mind. There have been claims that earworms may be songs or tunes that become stuck in the phonological loop, the part of the brain that rehearses verbal information in Baddeley's Model of Working Memory."

Who knew I could make a post about such a topic eh?

Got SARS?

Huh, I find it hilarious that I had a list of things just the other night that I could write about, and now that I'm here... I got nothin.
This should be fun.

First Post

First off, I have a lot to say and I rarely get the chance to unload my thoughts. Mostly because of personal reasons, but I find most of the time that nobody really cares what I'm talking about. Many people (not all) get so wrapped up in themselves that they don't genuinely hear what their friends are telling them. This is probably why people love to spill their guts to me, but that's a whole nother story.

So after years of telling myself that I would never have a blog - because frankly who the hell would read it anyway - here is the birth of my blog.

Heh, we'll see how long I can actually keep this up. If it's one thing I hate about blog writers, it's not updating!

Oh and just so you, yes you, whoever might be reading this, know, this blog is for me. Not you. If you don't like it, click that red x in the upper corner of your screen.